The chain between me and her

A place with absolute silence, a chain and two people tied together.

I have no idea when I forgotten to tried to remove the chain that locked tightly on my neck. Maybe I had already lost the hope of getting away for a long time ago.
Another side of the chain is a girl who looks like me. She doesn’t like to talk and always have a cutter in her hand. I had already forgotten how long she had been here. Was the chain appeared first or she appeared first?

She understands me a lot, but I don’t understand her anything. She never smiles, every time I would only see her either cry or mad. Since the chain was on my neck, I can feel all of her emotions. When she feels sad, I’ll cry. When she feels angry, I’ll have the same feeling. When her heart broke, I’ll feel like there’s no value to live in this world.

In the outside world, we are in the same place. We have the same amount of friends, we share the same knowledge, and we share the same body.

Usually, she won’t appear unless someone said something really outraged. She would force to take over the body while that happens. While she takes over the body, she would never stops crying. She would set ourselves away from others, doing something that makes us painful, making us feel sad together. Actually I don’t like this, but since I can’t break through the chain I have no way to get away from her.

Once we got insult by someone, she took over the body and took out a cutter. She started to make some cuts on the body, one cut, two cuts, three cuts…I tried to stop her, then she look at me and walk toward me. Pointing the cutter at me and started to make cuts on me. I can’t run because the chain, scream for help in useless because there’s no one can help me. I let her do whatever she wants on me until she satisfied. Finally she made my body ruined like a broken doll, blood were dropping and spilling out from the cuts. After ruining me until she was satisfied, she thrown me a cutter, same as the one she got. She said: “If you don’t want to take it anymore, help yourself with this.”

Then she turned away from me like usual and she continued to cut the body of ourselves.

I can’t kill her because I need her. I can’t live alone so I lived with these for a long time. I had already got used with that…I think.

Being encroach is part of my life and I accept it. Maybe one day I would be assimilate by her so I’ll never feel painful and sad again.

Writer’s comment:
Well…this is one of my “state of mind” practices. The purpose of this practice is to make the reader feel a bit scared. Sketching mind is a bit tricky because a person’s mind is a fable existence, it affects a person but there’s nothing concrete.